Showing posts with label Scene Queens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scene Queens. Show all posts

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Analysis of The Scene Queen

I've been analyzing this Scene Queen Pedophilia thing all day, and I think I've uncovered a genius  marketing scheme that exploits young girls' need for attention and a feeling of cultural relevance.   Applying my understanding of evolutionary biology, psychology, pornography, and marketing, I feel like I may have some solid answers to the formerly perplexing question of "What the f*ck is this sh*t??".
Analysis of The Scene Queen
Analysis of The Scene Queen

   I will begin by tackling the question of why these girls' appearances are so, seemingly, conflicted (i.e. the infantilizing accessories and clothing, carrying around stuffed animals and playing with Hello Kitty crap, but in harsh contrast, wearing loads of eye make-up and often having facial piercings).
Analysis of The Scene Queen

    To start with; whether they understand it in it's entirety or not, these Scene Queens are conforming to  the known  ideal associated with males' biological desire to mate with healthy and fertile females.  Men are sexually attracted to younger females, because they are more likely to be healthy and fertile.  This brings me to a concept known as "babyfaceness".

    Studies at universities in both Germany and the US found that when given a range of digitally altered images of the same face, males preferred the faces that had more childlike features (a large rounded forehead, large round eyes, a small nose, and small chin).  These findings simply support the theory that males are evolutionarily inclined to be more attracted to younger females.  For the full story of The Science Of Attraction, 

    This explains both the reason for the over sized quaff, and the heavy eye make up.  The large head of hair gives the illusion of a smaller chin.  By covering their foreheads with thick bangs, and teasing the hell out of their hair, it makes the upper region of their head appear much larger than the lower portion, simply by contrast (i.e. mimicking the symptoms of "babyfaceness").   The reason for the heavy eye make-up is that it helps to give the appearance of larger eyes.  Additionally, it obscures most of the eye area, which is where young women begin to show signs of aging first (dark circles, bags, wrinkles).
Analysis of The Scene Queen

  Next we will assess the Hello Kitty and stuffed animal crap...  The bright colors, obviously, draw the eye,  but are also associated with the way that we culturally dress our children.  In pornographic films and images (the ones geared towards male who are looking for "hot petite teens xxx") you will often find that the females will be wearing brightly colored plastic bead jewelry, or cute brightly colored socks.  This part is simple.  They wear childrens' clothing and accessories in order to appear more similar to what we, culturally, consider to be a child.
Analysis of The Scene Queen
Analysis of The Scene Queen

  The reason for the facial piercings only serves to say, "I am a naughty girl, and I do naughty things".  It gives the onlooker permission to view them in an "adult" manner.  Its that simple.

   Well, I still feel 100% uncomfortable with this creepy Scene Queen thing, but kudos to the horny old bastard who thought it up, and somehow got it to become trendy to appeal to pedophiles. 

Thursday, 17 May 2012

Scene Queens and Emo Girls, Pedophiles Love 'Em

Alright, this Scene Queen crap needs to stop.  I'm beginning to suspect that the trend was created by pedophiles, since the main objective of pulling together the perfect Scene Queen look involves making yourself appear as infantile as possible.  The more I look at these pictures, the more I can imagine some dirty old man panting away and working up a sweat while viewing these images. 
   Ugh, this feels so dirty to me.  

Saturday, 16 July 2011

Scene Girls; You Thought They Were Hot, Until...

     Time to remove the mysterious mask of Spackle which has so thoroughly hidden the frightening truth behind it!  You may have been fooled into thinking these "Scene Queens", as they call themselves, are at least moderately attractive, but alas, the truth emerges.
AAAAAaaaaahhhh!
The truth hurts.
Kinda cool in a Horror Movie sort of way.
Ooof. 

:(
Now, let me show you an example of a girl who looks hot when she's got makeup and photoshop on her side.  When her real appearance isn't completely obscured, she looks significantly less attractive.

Keep in mind, that she is still wearing a good deal of makeup and utilizing photoshop in the second pic.
 


  That's all for now, but I hope I have helped some of you in your quest for the truth.

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

You Look Like a Douche When You Do That

You may not be aware, but when you do that, you look like a total douche-nozzle.

Please don't put that in your mouth... I'm sure that thing is filthy.
I don't know who told you your makeup looks good that way, but whoever they are, they're not your friend.
Oh, I see.  You must be the one who told that other girl that her makeup looks good.
As soon as my time machine arrives in the mail, I'm gonna revisit 2003, and check out your Myspace page.
God, I hate you.
The finger she still picks her nose with has become possessed. "Redrum!" (If you didn't get that reference, you are probably too young to be using the internet without parental supervision.  Naughty, naughty. )
That's incredibly clever and original. 
You're an idiot.

 Well, that's all for now, but don't go and get all disappointed, 'cause there's more where that came from.

Friday, 8 July 2011

Hello Kitty Has Retarded Friends

Scene Queens are probably the most notoriously obnoxious representatives for this brand.  If I were Hello Kitty, I'd sue these a-holes for misrepresentation of character and some sort of defamation.
Ok, that's actually pretty cute.
*shaking my head*
Really???
Embarrassing, to say the least.  But it isn't just Scene Girls abusing the Hello Kitty trademark.
 Crap, that's f**ked up.  Sorry, Hello Kitty.

....Okay, Gaga can do whatever she wants (even if it involves Hello Kitty), and I still lover her.